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Put Your Head on My Shoulders

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! Books are useless! I only ever read one book, „To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

Put Your Head on My Shoulders
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A Flight to Remember

No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. The lesson is, never try. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now.

That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity.

A Flight to Remember
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The Beast with a Billion Backs

Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news! Actually, that's still true. We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera.

There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! It’s a T. It goes „tuh”. Anyone who laughs is a communist! Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon.

The Beast with a Billion Backs
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Good morning, oh in case i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. excuse me, i'd like to ask you a few questions. we're going for a ride on the information super highway.
Here she comes to wreck the day. here she comes to wreck the day. alrighty then kinda hot in these rhinos. we're going for a ride on the information super highway.

Cold Warriors

The Ugly Side of the Moon

The Leaked Secret to Apollo Discovered

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, „To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. You don’t win friends with salad. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity.

The Ugly Side of the Moon
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The Birth of Lies

You want a guarantee, buy a toaster

  • The Birth of Lies
  • The Birth of Lies

Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

The Birth of Lies
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Where No Fan Has Gone Before

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Where No Fan Has Gone Before
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The Cyber House Rules

What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. You’ve swallowed a planet! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

The Cyber House Rules
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The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
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Fry Am the Egg Man

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him.

  • Fry Am the Egg Man
  • Fry Am the Egg Man

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

Fry Am the Egg Man
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All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Insane in the Mainframe

The Silence of the Clamps

And I'm not even sure what the picture should be. I'm thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?

Cops, another community I’m not part of. You all right, Dexter? Like a sloth. I can do that. I’m a sociopath; there’s not much he can do for me. You’re a killer. I catch killers. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo.

I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. He taught me a code. To survive. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be.

The Silence of the Clamps
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Sing along fellas!

I just told you! You've killed me! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.

I never loved you. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. And why did ‚I’ have to take a cab? I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid.

Sing along fellas!
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Cops, another community I'm not part of. God created pudding, and then he rested. I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. God created pudding, and then he rested.

Dexter